Open Letter To Mike Lindell

Yo Mikey,

How the hell are you dude? I have to assume you’re doing swell based on the fact that you keep showing up in at least one of my news apps. Though I have to be honest I rarely read those articles cause they bore me.

So what’s the deal with all of this alleged evidence of voter fraud man? I mean I keep hearing that you have all of this so called proof and yet not much beyond that. Assuming there is actually proof I can’t help wondering exactly how you kept a record of it. I do have a few theories about that I’d to throw your way and you can tell me if I’m right. I mean there is a comment section for you to share your thoughts. So why not make make use of that.

  • You have all written down on Post-it Notes possibly even the multi colored one which could allow you to keep the evidence color coordinated But those notes are awfully small & I’m guessing it would well over a million single sheets to get it all written down. I’m not even sure that they even work in printers. But then again maybe they do.
  • It’s saved on floppy disks. The problem with those things is that they don’t hold a lot of data which probably means that it would take thousands of them. Now that I think about it I’m not even sure if they are still being manufactured. But hey maybe you were lucky to find a company that does. If you did can you share who that is?
  • It’s printed in Morse code using a dot matrix printer and you need somebody to translate it for you.
  • The evidence is locked inside a safe inside a vault inside a volcano and you forgot the combination. Wait a second Isn’t that a Starburst commercial?

Well those are my theories. I certainly hope you’ll comment below to let me know if I right. Just remember that all comments must be approved. Well that is all. I will let you get back to what you’re doing since I’m sure you are quite the busy beaver.

Hasta la vista,

Ryan

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About the author

Sophia Bennett is an art historian and freelance writer with a passion for exploring the intersections between nature, symbolism, and artistic expression. With a background in Renaissance and modern art, Sophia enjoys uncovering the hidden meanings behind iconic works and sharing her insights with art lovers of all levels. When she’s not visiting museums or researching the latest trends in contemporary art, you can find her hiking in the countryside, always chasing the next rainbow.

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